Dibikin pake CorelDraw 12 bajakan. Resolusi 300 dpi. Versi color dan grayscale. Format JPG.
ß ‘gak bisa upload format CDR-nya di Friendster Blog.
Archive Page 2
05
Aug
Logo UNIPA
17
Jul
Another Bedtalk #171007
“I feel good, yet tainted.”
She was lying on her back, staring at me intensely.
I returned her look and stay quiet for a moment or two.
Her beautiful eyes melancholic and tranquil seemed demanding for my comment.
Still I found it difficult to understand her intention.
Finally I decided to smile and open my mouth, “Yes, I feel good too. It was great.”
Now, it’s her turn to keep quiet. I can read her that it was not quite the words that she would like to hear.
“Please tell me more. I’m listening.”
She didn’t respond to my words promptly; instead she took her eyes wandering off me. She brushed my hair with her delicate hand.
“I feel there’s something inside me that forbids me from doing this. But I also feel safe and comfortable with you.”
“Do you think we should stop doing this? We really don’t have to do this.”
“This is wrong. We both know that. But it would be a lie if I say that I don’t like it.”
“I don’t believe this is wrong. We are having an intercourse. We didn’t cause any damage whatsoever to anybody. We were having fun. We enjoy it. And this is nobody else’s business.”
She hesitated for a second.
“Yes, it will cause damage if someone else finds out.”
“So? I never hide it. When they ask, I will explain, I will give them the black truth.”
“Do you think they may suspect us doing this?”
“Our parents? Of course they do. They are parents. But then again, we are adults now. We will take our responsibilities. We will face our consequences. They will ask questions only when they are ready for the black truth.”
I pulled her closer and kissed her again on the lips.
She gave a feeble effort to stop me.
“… wait … Baby … I still have questions …”
I already moved down to her breasts.
“Night is still early ….”
19
Jun
Alienation
Please wake up, beast.
Such a fool’s life,
Peaceful, the beast lay asleep within.
Such a full life,
Where the beast feasts, turn morality upside down.
I’m stepping unto a position where I must live by my lowest standard.
Can I disturb the sleeping beast.
As I take this step I’ll regret?
A step toward alienation.
Once the step is done, there will be no turning back.
I will die, I will lost, the beast fell in an eternal sleep.
Tell my demon to wreck my routines.
This routines I’m fading within….
Am I one of them?
The ordinary zombies?
With ordinary days?
I still thirst for reckless moments.
I wanna kill.
I wanna rape.
I wanna destroy.
Isn’t that so wrong? Is that so wrong?
Still, I can’t wake the beast….
22
Mar
Condoms & AIDS
“Use condom to prevent AIDS”
I’m against this kind of campaign.
Which one is the better campaign?
1 - Moral campaign to avoid premarital sex.
2 - Condom campaign.
AIDS is a sexually transmitted disease. Let AIDS spread!
Be quiet about condom! Let fuckers die!
Let stupid sinners die. Let smarter sinners live.
We have no use of those stupid sinners.
What about the innocent?
I pity them, they should fuck too, while they still can….
Did I sound like a zealot? Shesshhh
I use condoms to avoid unwanted pregnancy, then to avoid abortion. I don’t use condoms to avoid AIDS. 
(Condom pictures taken from www.thecellfreak.com)
09
Mar
Fade
Your figures is fading. I can’t confirm my feelings. I will let it fade. I will let it die.
Bagaimana cara meminta seseorang melupakan kita? Memintanya langsung? ß tunjukin caranya.
Menghentikan komunikasi 2 arah.
Maybe I wish you to remember me forever. But this is how I deny my wishes.
Am I serious? We shall see, dear….
13
Jan
Apparition
Because of this picture, there has been some disturbance around Amban.
Maybe it was my fault too….
I was tempted to put this picture on the window of my departement, along with a phony announcement which said that, the two students on this picture must see their lecturer of religion course, for a consultation about their final score of their religion course. A cold joke for the student, I admit.
In case you wonder,
I don’t know anything true about this picture, I didn’t enhance it or manipulate it in any way, I put it as is.
Rumor among the people is that the student on the picture is a student of Faculty of Math and Natural Sciences. It was also said that she is currently ill of unknown disease. It was also said that she took the picture by herself, with her cellphone.
I don’t know the girl and I don’t know whether the rumor or the picture is true.
All I can say is that the picture may be original, not manipulated. Perhaps we should ask Mr. Roy Suryo for confirmation. I think the shadowy blur on the collar is proportional to the shadowy blur of the “suspected apparition”.
Could an apparition look so solid? Could an apparition have a shadow? I don’t know.
Even if the picture was original, there is also a possibility that the picture was only a prank. The “suspected apparition” ’s hair was not curly, as most Papuans. Relatively straight hair. Was she a Torajan? (There are lots of Torajans here anyway, could one be dead and returned?). And I think the “suspected apparition” looks like apparitions on recent horror movies.
My friends also mention that the eyes are too red, but I think the make ups might have caused it.
My friends also mention that eyebrows are not present, but I think she could’ve had it shaved or covered up with make ups.
My friends also mention that the “suspected apparition” ’s head size was unnatural, but I think the perspective distance might have cause the illusion.
I am sceptical about this matters. But it sure does disturb me well. People from the villages around came to my office during working hours only to take a look at the picture. Damn religious area!
Still, I am working late at night, as always….
03
Jan
Bintuni Bay: A holiday
ß berlibur di Teluk Bintuni, berangkat tanggal 24 Desember 2006 dan baru kembali hari ini tanggal 4 Januari 2007
It was a quality holiday!
ß tinggal bersama Rani dan Dian di Puskesmas. ß kerja jadi sukarelawan. ß jadi Cleaning Service, Perawat (terutama jaga malam), Apoteker dan Supir Ambulance (Puskesmas Keliling).
Banyak pengalaman baru, ß udah bisa ganti tabung infus, ngasih obat di infus, spooling infus.
Waktu Tahun Baru, tengah malam, Indra sempet ngebantuin ngejait pasien yang luka di kepala. Parah (>20), ß ampir muntah. Terus pagi-paginya ada lagi orang mabok jatuh dari motor. Ini juga dijait belasan. Indra juga ngebantu perban luka-luka yang kecil-kecilnya. Karena orang mabok tidak dianastesi, dia jerit-jerit sampai nangis. Hehehehe. Makanya jangan mabok-mabokan!
Yang agak menyedihkan, tanggal 2, jam 3-an subuh, ß ngeliat anak kecil 5 taunan meninggal pelan-pelan karena sesak nafas. ‘gak ada respirator di sini, jadi ‘gak ketolong. Keadaan di sini memang berat.
Sebagai Supir Pusling, ß banyak keliling juga ke daerah Manimeri, Sibena, dan SP2 (Sarana Pemukiman, tempat transmigran). Selain ambulans, ß juga boleh bawa MegaPro dinas di sini. Huehehehe.
ß pulang tanggal 4 ke Manokwari, naik Merpati. It’s been quite a quality holiday.
Rani, terima kasih….
10
Dec
Another tragedy
What the hell are you thinking?
Did you fuck him?
Are you happy now?
Or you’re just craving for sex?
No! Stupid girl! You want his love. And he just wanna sex you up.
Now, he knows you love him and would fuck him if he asks you!
So please fuck him! Tell him you’re a slut and will always give up your pussy.
Anytime, anywhere.
Fuck him, enjoy him, but don’t say you love him.
Be a bitch so everybody can love you too.
When relationship is on the edge. Sex is the last thing you wanna do.
It’s funny, fucking me doesn’t make you a bitch while fucking him does.
I’m angry at stupidity. You are a tragedy of so called love.
Damn it!
15
Nov
CCNA
I failed.
Gagal di ujian Cisco Certified Network Associate (CCNA).
Jauh-jauh dikirim dari Manokwari ke Depok….
Maafkanlah, ß kebanyakan tidur (bahkan di kelas), malas belajar, nganggep enteng….
Score ß cuma 758/1000. Buat lulus butuh 849.
- Technology 50%
- Planning and Designing 87%
- Troubleshooting 61%
- Implementation and Operation 73%
Lalu? Ke depannya? Ah, entahlah….
Tapi ‘gak nyesel kok, senang aja 
25
Oct
To Feel Special
Manokwari, 26 Oktober 2006
Sentimen seorang manusia sinis (silakan tertawa):
Bertahun-tahun yang lalu, ß pernah punya diary bersama seseorang, sebut saja ‘love’, dan di diary ini, dia pernah nulis seperti ini:
Hari ini ß mengenang, dan mengingat jelas tulisannya.
Hari ini ß betul-betul ngerti maksudnya. Di belakang gambar hati dan tulisan yang kekanak-kanakan itu dia menderita. Dia merasa tidak istimewa karena ß tidak membuatnya merasa special. ß terlalu egois.
Hari ini ß belajar bahwa ‘to feel special’ adalah penting. Betapa sedihnya ketika seseorang yang kita anggap istimewa tidak membuat kita merasa istimewa. Betapa bahagianya ketika seseorang yang kita anggap istimewa membuat kita merasa begitu istimewa.
Buat semua yang sempat baca ini, buat seorang teman tapi mesra yang mungkin ‘gak pernah baca ini, buat cinta yang telah berakhir sebagai ukiran di atas pusara taman bunga, kali ini ß cuma bisa ngasih ini:
Tonight I can hear the ocean waves thundering at the distance.
Tonight I imagine myself rolling, rocked by them, drowning within their dance.
Tonight I cry a river as I realize that I can feel, I can feel them caress my body so intensely.
Tonight I was soaking wet, as I stood and felt the greasy sand on my feet.
Tonight I can hear the ocean waves thundering at the distance.
